Dear Reader,

I had a conversation with a friend last weekend that stopped me in my tracks.

“I’m so behind,” she said, talking about her friend’s early retirement, her sister’s dream vacation lifestyle, her former colleague’s successful consulting business. “Everyone else has it figured out, and I’m just… stuck.”

She’s 62, has built a solid career over decades, raised successful children, and is actively working toward meaningful goals for this next chapter. But in that moment, she felt like a failure.

Sound familiar?

Here’s the truth I shared with her—and the truth I need to share with you:

You cannot be “behind” in life because life isn’t a race with a predetermined track.

The Illusion of Universal Timelines

We’ve been conditioned to believe there’s a standard timeline for human achievement: - Career peak by 50 - Retirement by 65 - Health decline after 70 - Grandchildren by a certain age - Financial security, travel, legacy… all by some arbitrary deadline

But here’s what nobody tells you: These timelines are completely made up.

They’re social constructs that have nothing to do with your actual path, your energy level, your dreams, or your definition of a meaningful life.

When you buy into the “behind” narrative, you’re not just comparing yourself to others—you’re comparing yourself to a fiction.

The Hidden Cost of “Behind” Thinking

Feeling behind doesn’t just hurt emotionally. It sabotages your actual progress in three devastating ways:

1. Panic-Driven Decisions When you feel behind, you rush. You take early retirement options that don’t fit, enter relationships or friendships that aren’t right, make financial decisions based on fear rather than strategy. The urgency created by “behind” thinking leads to choices you’ll regret later.

2. Goal Abandonment If you’re “already behind,” why bother? The overwhelm of catching up feels impossible, so you quit before you start. I’ve seen countless people abandon perfectly achievable goals—starting that business, learning new skills, pursuing health goals, or even planning adventures—because they felt too far behind to make progress worthwhile.

3. Present Moment Blindness When you’re obsessed with where you “should” be, you miss where you actually are. You can’t appreciate your current growth, celebrate small wins, or recognize the progress you’re making because you’re too busy calculating your deficit.

The Alternative: Personal Seasons

Instead of universal timelines, what if you thought in terms of personal seasons?

Your Learning Season: Maybe you’re in a phase of discovering new interests, exploring possibilities for this next chapter, or figuring out what you really want now that you have more freedom. This isn’t delay—it’s preparation.

Your Building Season: Perhaps you’re laying foundations others can’t see yet. New relationships, healthy habits, knowledge, wisdom to share. The harvest comes later.

Your Harvesting Season: Maybe you’re reaping the benefits of decades of work. Enjoying grandchildren, pursuing passions, traveling, or sharing your expertise. Enjoy it without guilt about others who are still planting.

Your Resting Season: Sometimes life requires recovery, reflection, or simply being present. Maybe you’re caring for aging parents, dealing with health challenges, or processing major life transitions. This isn’t lost time—it’s necessary time.

The person retiring at 62 might be in their harvesting season. You, starting a new venture at 68, might be in your building season—building on decades of experience and wisdom that will serve you in ways a younger person couldn’t imagine.

Neither is behind. Both are exactly where they need to be.

Three Questions That Replace “Am I Behind?”

Next time you feel the familiar pang of being behind, ask yourself these instead:

1. “What season am I in right now?” Are you learning, building, harvesting, or resting? Each season has its own purpose and timeline.

2. “What am I building that isn’t visible yet?” Skills, relationships, habits, wisdom, legacy—most meaningful progress happens quietly before it shows up in holiday cards or social media posts.

3. “What would I do if I trusted my timing?” Remove the pressure of catching up. What would you pursue if you believed your path was unfolding exactly as it should?

Your Path is Not Their Path

The colleague who retired early might be bored and restless in ways you’re not experiencing. The friend who’s constantly traveling might be running from something you’ve made peace with. The entrepreneur who “made it” might be dealing with stress and health issues you wouldn’t trade for any success.

You’re not behind them because you’re not on the same journey.

Moving Forward (At Your Own Pace)

Here’s what I want you to remember:

Your timeline is not universal—it’s personal. Your progress is not a competition—it’s a conversation between who you were and who you’re becoming.

The question isn’t whether you’re behind or ahead. The question is whether you’re moving in a direction that honors your values, your circumstances, and your definition of a life well-lived.

And if you’re reading this newsletter, actively thinking about your growth and seeking ways to improve your life, you’re not behind—you’re exactly where someone who cares about their development should be.

Trust your season. Trust your timing. Trust your path.

The world needs what you’re building, even if it’s not ready to harvest yet.

Ernest

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P.S. What season do you think you’re in right now? Hit reply and let me know. I read every response, and sometimes naming your season is the first step to embracing it.

P.P.S. If this resonated with you, share it with someone who might need to hear that they’re not behind—they’re just on their own timeline.

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Ready to design goals that honor your actual timeline instead of society’s expectations? Book a free 30-minute strategy session to create a plan that fits your season. [Schedule here]​

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