Hi Reader,

The Transaction

I was talking to a brother recently who named something so clearly I had to share it with you.

He’s the most accomplished in his family—the one everyone looks to. But he admitted that his drive for perfection is actually a calculation. He tries to be so flawless in his career and status so that when people learn he’s SGL, they’ll say:

“Well… at least he’s successful.”

He’s using his success to offset his humanity. Does that sound familiar?

The Reality Check

I want to ask you a few questions—not for me, but for you to sit with:

• The Connection: When you’re in those spaces where you feel you have to be “150% perfect” just to be accepted… what does that constant “editing” do to your energy by the time you get home?
• The Problem: If you were to stop being the “perfect one” for just a week… what are you afraid would actually happen to those relationships?
• The Consequence: If you keep using your accomplishments to “buy” your worth, and you stay on this path for another 2 or 3 years… what does that do to your spirit?

The Cost of “At Least”

When you live for the “at least,” your success becomes a bribe. You can’t actually enjoy your wins because they aren’t for you—they are for your defense team.

You’re exhausted because you’re playing a character in your own life. And the character has to be perfect, or the whole show falls apart.

Phase 1: Dropping the Shield

Phase 1 of being Unapologetic is realizing that your excellence is a gift, not a ransom payment.

You don’t owe “perfection” to anyone in exchange for being who you are. But here is the real question:

How much longer can you realistically keep performing at this level before something gives?

For You This Week

Don’t try to fix it yet. Just notice.

Reply and tell me: If you didn’t have to be “perfect” to be “accepted,” what’s the first thing you would stop doing today?

See you Thursday,

Ernest

P.S. - I’m looking to reach 100 brothers who are tired of paying the ‘Perfection Tax.’ If this email made you think of a friend who is ‘carrying it all,’ please forward this to him.